Gundamnation
by Neurotic Narraku
Summary: More mass slaughter. Rated PG-13 for language and innuendo


And now, for my next piece of craziness (due to popular demand from a local contingent of Anime buffs)... entitled... GUNDAMNATION! (Correctly pronounced gun-DAM-nation). It is the tale of the Gundams' battle atop the Earth's polar ice cap against the Romafeller Foundation, Zechs Marquise, and Treize. More of NNPI- Neurotic Narraku's Patented Insanity- will ensue-- -Neurotic Narraku (please note, it isn't really trademarked, but still, I like the little symbol...though I dunno if it'll show up as such on the website.)  
  
  
  
Quatre was in trouble. Surrounded by Virgos, with an empty machine gun and only one sickle in tact, things looked grim. He looked, and saw the Mercurius charging at him. "Oh no! Marquise! I'm dead..." Quatre looked up, hearing a voice only he could hear.  
  
"Hmm...? What's that, Sandrock? No! You're going to self-destruct again?... Please! Isn't there... OK... I understand... Goodbye, old friend..." Quatre reluctantly walked toward the Gundam's hatch...which promptly shut, catching his foot in the process. Quatre screamed like a little girl, but Sandrock couldn't hear him. As Sandrock walked, Quatre smacked against the mecha's chest.  
  
"OW! Sandrock! Lemme go! Ow! My arm!! AGHH!! THE BONE IS STICKING THROUGH THE SKIN!!! Oweee!" He squealed pathetically. Then he got shot in half by the Mercurius. Then Sandrock blew up, taking a whole platoon of Virgos with it.  
  
  
  
"Dammit!" Zechs cursed bitterly. "That explosion ripped part of my arm off!" He turned, and shot at the Deathscythe, who had charged at him, swinging his scythe menacingly.  
  
"Die! I've waited a long time for this, Gundams!!" he shouted. He blasted a good-sized hole in Deathscythe's stomach, but the Gundam wouldn't die. Deathscythe cut the Mercurius's legs off and it plummeted to the ground. Zechs finally snapped. "I CAN'T TAKE THIS FREAKIN' MASK ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAHHHHHHH!!!" He spontaneously combusted, and died.  
  
  
  
Duo saw that the Mercurius wasn't moving. Curious, he jumped out of Deathscythe... and got his braid caught on its finger.  
  
"Oh man! What do I do now!?" He tugged at his hair desperately, but that just hurt, a lot. He tried to reach Deathscythe's finger, but his hair was longer than his arms, so he couldn't. "Deathscythe! Let me go!" Duo ordered. Deathscythe complied. He dropped Duo... from its waist height. Duo was splattered against the Mercurius's face.  
  
  
  
Trowa's guns were empty.  
  
"Okay, Heavy Arms, drop the gun. We'll have to fight with that crappy blade."  
  
Heavy Arms dropped the gun...and the rest of its arm.  
  
"Great! Now what?!" Trowa complained. A small blade popped out of his Gundam's shoulder. "Great! So we're gonna shoulder-check the enemy to death?? This isn't hockey!!!!" frustrated, Trowa jumped out of his Gundam to check the gun arm and got his ridiculously pointy bangs imbedded in Heavy Arms's palm. Heavy Arms walked on, unaware his of his pilot's predicament. Trowa, dangling by his bangs, got his neck broken from the swaying caused by the mecha's walking. He died.  
  
  
  
Wu-fei spotted the Veyate.  
  
"Treize! Fight me, man to man, in a sword fight!" Treize, being the chivalrous ninny he is, jumped from the Mobile Suit, sword drawn, and landed on the point, impaling himself. Wu-fei jumped out simultaneously. He landed... and was stepped on by a Virgo. *SQUISH smash splat* Mmmm...mashed people...err...anyway. Moving along in the story...  
  
  
  
Dorothy looked around, made sure she had everything she needed, walked out of her room, shut the door, and got her FREAKIN' HUGE eyebrows caught in the door. She desperately struggled to break free. Alas, in her attempt to dislodge her ludicrous eyebrows, she suffered a hernia and died.  
  
  
  
Releena stood in the court of the Sanct Kingdom, with Heero next to her. She told her people of Heero's valiant battle, and how he was the only survivor, but still managed to defeat the Romafeller Foundation. He whispered something in Releena's ear. She suddenly got very angry and screamed "PERVERT!" She bitch-slapped Heero into oblivion, hard enough to smash his skull in, killing him instantly. She turned to look at her subjects, and saw they all had swords and laser pistols drawn.  
  
"What is this?!" She demanded.  
  
"We're sick of your sissy, pussy pacifist ways!! NOW DIE!" They opened fire and shot her into many bite-sized pieces of doggy kibble.  
  
And so, everone is dead.  
  
  
  
Well, my second!!!!! Not quite as good as the first, maybe... but I write this after staying up all night watching TV, so my ideas are all pooey. Tell me watcha think, anyway.----Neurotic Narraku 


End file.
